Primary Emotions/Themes: Complete and utter destruction of sanity
Thoughts: I wake with a startle. I feel fingers crawling at me, yet I lay in my own bed. I feel a breath on my neck, yet I see no one laying beside me. I feel peace, yet I feel like I should be frightened for my life. I reach to pull the blankets back only to realize that I have no hands. I go to scream only to realize I have no mouth. I go to move out of fright, only to realize that I have no body.
As I stare at the spinning black disc in front of me I am greeted by a low rumble. How did I get here? What is this circle in front of me? Why must it spin so? Why does it make those horrible noises? Sirens blare as the tones get harsher. The world devolves into chaos. Somehow though, I know that I am near the end... the end of my suffering is near at hand. Be it by my life or my death, this will conclude with these final revolutions of this black circle.
When a mortal is subjected to a torture such as this, it begs the question: is there truly an all merciful god? With the events of the past two hours I don't believe I can say that there is one. No such god would allow a creation such as this to be made within the context of the world they had spoken into creation. Either such a god does not exist, or they are now powerless to do anything about the atrocities that the denizens of this world have created.
You see dear reader, Soundtracks for the Blind is not merely an album. It is something that touches on true beauty, it cascades upon the very shores of hell with some of the tones that it makes. It resides in the halls of antiquity while channeling the foulest of tongues, all at once. It is paradox incarnate.
My evening has been spent listening and chronicling of my experience with Mr. Gira and Ms. Jarboe and this monstrosity of an album. I have felt nearly every emotion possible: joy, despair, disgust, fear, anguish, elation, release, tension, exhaustion, paranoia, and contentment to name a few.
The album bends you to its will, you have no say in what it does... it is it's own entity. Soundtracks for the Blind is one of the most challenging albums I have ever listened to. It's not something that I can tackle on a regular basis, but I promise you this: there is not a single album in my collection that comes close to exacting its will on you like this one. This is a masterwork. Not one for the weak of heart, but it is a masterwork none the less.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to rest. This album has drained me much like the most difficult of conversations. It has pulled at my sanity like the greatest horror movies. It has left me changed... no scarred for listening to it. I need to heal.
Written October 29th 2023
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